My mind is playing music

 There is absolutely no problem in the world that cannot be solved with meditation. Whether you are trying to make changes into your life, Or recovering from childhood trauma, Or simply managing day-to-day life, If you are able to understand what meditation is and the potential benefits it has for you. You will always want to meditate as the first thing when you wake up. You will take time out of your busy schedule and make it to meditate.

About a decade ago, my life was in a pretty bad state. I was a fresh graduate out of college. Trying to find a suitable job, just like all other graduates. I was good in academics and good at almost any other examiniations I would give. I had given almost 200 different examinations, Ranging from officer level to clerical level examinations and cleared 90% of them. But then comes the nightmare I was about to be interviewed for the position of an officer. Now this had been the challenge since I was trying to get onto a job through college placements and none of the interviews I was able to crack, I sat in almost 15 of the Group discussions, cleared all. I gave various examinations, cleared them all. But then comes the interview part. For me, it was a nightmare. I had never been successful in a single interview I had given. During the interview, I would fall into a different zone called as Black hole. Whatever the interviewer would be asking I, had no idea about how and what to say. My mind had messed me up. because of all that trauma I was carrying in my mind and my body. It was so messed up. It was as if I wasn't able to maintain an understanding of any questions that were asked by the interviewer.

I remember one time an interviewer told me that it seemed that I was having hallucinations, and living a life that is going on and you have no control over your life. That was real feedback. Not a brutal one, because I knew something was terribly wrong with me.

I was also bad at making relationships, not just with friends, but with family members, my neighbors, and college professors and everyone else. I could never maintain a contact without messing the relationship. I was in the habit of messing and saying and doing things that would make the other person feel that I was crazy. Crazy enough to leave me. 

On the best day, I would show up as a normal person, feeling nothing inside. I did not know why I was doing these things which I ended up being called ill. Accidentally, I landed a job that required more hard skills of computers and great academics. Sadly, could not perform well as per my own expectations and had to leave the company. That continuted for many years...

I learnt about meditation myself by reading stuffs on the internet and doing lots of yoga practice. Slowly I realized That how powerful these ancient Indian techniques are. now one instance when I was almost an crossing the beginner level in meditation, i realized that all my life was the sum of everything that I did, saw and put into my brain. Whether it was listening to music, talking to friends or watching movies or going on a ride. It was all and everything my personality was made up of and I wanted to make some serious changes.

The music in my mind would not stop playing forever. Even when I was sleeping, driving, in the office, or taking a shower. That were the music I had listened for many times in these years and I realized that this is my choice now. Either to break this music and take control of my life, now in this moment. And then some of the best things started to happen.

I started to recognize emotions in others. I can feel happiness again. Thanks to meditation. I am an avid meditator and would continue this practice for the rest of my life and would encourage others to do this.